Thursday, December 27, 2012

बदलाव की हवाएँ....



  श्रेया कबीर जो दिल्ली विश्वविद्यलय की छात्राहैं उन्होने यह लेख हमें मेल किया है।उनका कहना है कि वे हाल-फिलहाल मे स्त्री की स्थिति से बेहद परेशान हैं और अभी यह लेख लिखा है जिसे वे हम  सब से साझा करना चाहती हैं और फीडबैक भी चाहतीहै                                                                   



 Winds of change


Shyly looking through the veil,  blood-red powder in the middle of her hair and a thread of black and golden beads around her neck. She is the pretty and charming bride. Today, was her wedding. Like many other guests in the ceremony, I also stood there observing the post-marriage rituals. Though I was paying attention, I was gripped with some thoughts, I couldn’t resist thinking on.

Beautiful and tender she is, so many dreams she carries in her eyes. Its hard, hard to leave the souls who nurtured her with their blood and sweat. She knows already, there is no love in this whole world that could match her mother’s love, still she walks out of her ‘home’ because her now ‘going-to-be-mother’ has given the promise of adopting the bride as her daughter. Oh! And so she believes and so does her mother, though her heart is pounding terribly. What else can they do? They had to put faith. 

She hasn’t seen her father so weak before. The fingers, that earlier used to wipe tears away from her face are now trembling to leave her hand, to let her go.
She whispers in her mother’s ear ‘Mother, can’t you come with me?’ Speechless, her mother gazes at her face, a wince of pain and tears stream down from her already swollen eyes. If only, she could say ‘yes’ to her innocent daughter. If only, she could break the societal  fences in which she is curbed. She gently kisses her daughter’s forehead and gives her a piece of stereotyped advice, ‘now we are your second parents, your life is changed and so are your relations. You need to accept it. As a woman, you now have multiple roles, you need to fit into each role and play it very well. Don’t let us or our upbringing down. Take care.’ The girl gives the reassuring gesture and then hugs her parents tightly as if she is seeing them for the very last time. Her brother, could not believe that his little sister is now a grown up young lady, leaving him today, to enter into her new world. With a heavy stone on his heart he escorts her to the car. 

…..And she left her heavenly abode. Deserted it is without her. This is the common, moving scene in any Indian wedding! 

I was lead  into a deep contemplation. Why is the bride burdened to move to her husband’s place? Why is there such a custom? Why after marriage, her everything gets metamorphosed, even her name? Why does only her family has to go through the ache? What once used to be her priority before, why it is subordinated after she ties the knot? May be these are the lethal aftermath of marriage a girl has to go through, just because she is born as a ‘girl’. May be it is injustice, or may it is just a practice!

On second thoughts! What if the laws are reversed? What if a day comes when the groom will part with his family and his family with him? Can it happen? Will he be able to endure it? Can he put aside his ego and try to please his ‘new’ family. Can he put himself in his wife’s  shoes? Can he ever treat his in-laws as his own parents? Can his family ever agree to go through the trauma? Will they? Will he?

Such anti-societal thoughts are far from reality! Why? Because they are a toll on the patriarchal society we live in, which entitles men to be supreme. In the name of tradition, chauvinism is followed. The roots are deep and its difficult to take a leap.
I sincerely wish a day comes bringing the winds of change. Change of beliefs and most importantly change of personification!

7 comments:

Pragya said...

what is the need of role reversal, why not both can leave their parental home and make new home of their own where both set of parents are welcome. let it be equal..thats would be more sensible and already being practiced in many parts of world. eliminate the route cause, daughter is not ur property that you can donate to another family and son is not your slave to bring another slave for your service and not allowed to live his life according to his own wish. build trust and love in families...parents please dont try to rule..because love grows but ruling ends as soon as you grow weak..and isn't that the time you need most care from your children?

Ankur Jain said...

very thoughtful...everybody should think about this....

नववर्ष की अग्रिम शुभकामनाएं।।।

Vinay said...

नववर्ष की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएँ... आशा है नया वर्ष न्याय वर्ष नव युग के रूप में जाना जायेगा।

ब्लॉग: गुलाबी कोंपलें - जाते रहना...

राजन said...

काफी अरसे से 'चोखेरबाली' की फीड मुझे नहीं मिल रही है।ई मेल से भी नई पोस्ट की सूचना नहीं प्राप्त हो रही।पता ही नहीं चलता कब नई पोस्ट आ गई।तुक्के में देखने पर पता चलता है।आपने किसी ब्लॉग संकलक की सेवा भी नहीं ले रखी।

SM said...

thoughtful article
winds of change , change is going on but it will take more 500 or 1000 years.

Vinay said...

हृदयस्पर्शी शब्दों की लड़ी
---
नवीनतम प्रविष्टी: गुलाबी कोंपलें

Asha Joglekar said...

प्रज्ञा जी से सहमत । दोनों को अपना सह जीवन एक नये घर से शुरु करना चाहिये जहां दोनों के माता पिता और रिश्तेदारों का स्वागत हो ।

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